Original- “Tonight Ima fight til we see the sun light” KB- “Before I leave/Brush my teeth and then I go pack” Original- “Before I leave/Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack,” (This changes from a fun, wild time to a depressing and lonely night out.
KB- “And you out when you ain’t got anyone” Original- “And you wild when you ain’t got nothin’ on” KB- “She’s not broken, she’s just a baby / But her boyfriend’s like a friend, just like a friend” Original- “She’s not broken, she’s just a baby / But her boyfriend’s like a dad, just like a dad” KB- “Like a popstar, you’re Madonna / And I’m always gonna wanna blow your mind” Original- “Like a Virgin, you’re Madonna / And I’m always gonna wanna blow your mind” (Is being “into it” that much more appropriate than “wanting it”?) KB- “I’m into him, he’s into me / Don’t pay him any attention … Don’t be mad once you see that he’s into it” Original- “I’m up on him, he up on me / Don’t pay him any attention … Don’t be mad once you see that he want it” (Did they do this because they don’t want to encourage not believing in God or did they not want to mention God at all to avoid alienating all of the atheist kids listening? Are the kidz praying to false idols instead?) _Kidz Bop_- “I’m still alive but I’m barely breathin’ / Just prayin’ to a thing that I don’t believe in” _Original_- “I’m still alive but I’m barely breathin’ / Just prayed to a God that I don’t believe in” Here are a few of the best lyric changes I found during my research, accompanied by some personal commentary: Kidz Bop deals with this racy subject matter by subtly changing the original lines to more “kid-friendly” versions. A lot of the popular songs on the radio today have lyrics that could be considered inappropriate for young children. The terrible singing isn’t even the worst part that honor goes to the lyrics. Who could have possibly been sadistic enough to put something so repulsive on the open market? And why haven’t they been tarred and feathered yet? The lead singer sounds like a drunken middle-aged man with lung cancer and the background singers sound like a gaggle of oompa-loompas strung out on cocaine. I liked this song, until I heard the Kidz Bop Kids’ interpretation. To fully understand what I am talking about, look no further than the first ever Kidz Bop CD’s rendition of Blink-182’s “All the Small Things”.
It’s like they’ve assembled an army of Rebecca Blacks who they brainwash and bi-annually send out to destroy every popular song of the past few months. They switch the gender of the singers constantly and seem to decide arbitrarily how many of the kidz should sing at a time. Like Now!, Kidz Bop compiles the biggest hits on the radio into one CD, but unlike Now!, it remakes the background music with significantly worse production value and has a bunch of tone deaf kidz sing the whole thing while yelling out “wooooo!” and “oh yeah!” in unison for no reason at random points throughout the songs. With Kidz Bop, however, I can find no logical reason why anyone would ever buy one of their CDs, unless we legalize torture. How can it get worse than Now! you ask? While Now! is not something I would personally pay for when I can make my own mixes, I suppose I can comprehend why some people might. Essentially, it takes every song that is aggressively overplayed on the radio and puts them all in one place so you can aggressively overplay them together, in the comfort of your own home. For those of you who have never heard of “Now!” it is a brand of pop music compilation albums. Before Kidz Bop, I had no idea just how terrible music can be in the wrong hands.įor those of you who have never heard of Kidz Bop, it is kind of like the Now That’s What I Call Music! franchise (which will soon be releasing its 40th installment!), except much, much worse. I even tried watching some Kidz Bop music videos on YouTube, but those were downright depressing. After grabbing a barf bag and some tissues to clean the blood out of my ears, I proceeded to browse through previews of the other 19 albums on iTunes. I had always thought Kidz Bop was stupid based solely on the commercials, but I figured it deserved to be given a chance. My intention was to write a serious music review about the album. On October 17th, 2011, I sat in my dorm room and listened to it in its entirety. On July 19th, 2011, Kidz Bop, the by kidz, for kids, musical juggernaut, released its 20th installment.
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